CYPRESSWOOD CHURCH OF CHRIST

January 9, 2005

IN OUR PRAYERS:

Our congregation                                                      David and Leon in the Navy

Various relatives, friends and co-workers                  Our nation, military and leaders

GOOD GRIEF

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4).

“I’m mad at God!”  “Why is this happening to me?”  “What did I do wrong for God to do this to me?”  These and other such statement are usually said in moments of grief, of people who are suffering and struggling, facing the loss of love ones, of health or jobs, or any number of other situations of stress.  And how are these statements responded to by believers?  While attempting to be supportive or comforting, they often add to the pain.  “You should just trust God.”  “They are in a better place and out of pain.”  “You shouldn’t be mad at God, that is just wrong.” 

What is wrong with being mad at God?  Some think that if a person is mad at God he will face the consequences of such action and an uncertain prospect of eternal life.  All of this is a result of our failure to understand the Biblical subject of lament, what today we call grief.  Much of this idea of lament is found in the Hebrew scriptures.  If someone is “mad” or “angry” with God, that person is in good company.  Lament is an expression of grief and struggle.  It takes on various forms, some asking for the destruction of one’s enemies, others dealing with a breaking heart because of a loss or a sinful event.  What we need to understand is that lament is good.  There is nothing wrong with complaining to God or being mad at God.  It shows that our relationship is strong and that we are comfortable (if that is the right word) with expressing our feelings toward our Father.  Lament is not the cry of the unbeliever who has rejected God but the believer who just wants to understand a little of the struggle.

In looking at the subject of lament, we begin with the most famous text of scripture, Psalm 23.  We often use this Psalm as a song of comfort. 

                    “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in

                    green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.  He

                    guides me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

We like this Psalm because of the positives message that is speaks.  God is our shepherd leading us in a peaceful life, providing for us and ultimately leading us into His presence (vs. 6).  It is a Psalm of comfort and hope, and we like that.  But there is verse four and contrasts with the first three.  “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.”  That’s not comfort.  It is translated in various ways such as “a valley of deepest darkness” (Tanakh, REB), “through valleys as dark as death” (NEB, CEV), “through the darkest valley” (NRSV), and “in a ravine as dark as death” (NJB).  Philip Keller, in his book, A Shepherd Looks At the Twenty-Third Psalm, describes this as a shepherd leading his flock down from the summer mountain feeding areas to the winter fields.  Going through the valleys on the way down was dangerous terrain and storms that come make the trip even more dangerous.  In application, the dark valley could include a loss, suffering, and personal or family struggle.  It is difficult and more so when nothing appears to be working.  What is comforting is that in this deep, dark valley, God is with us!  We are not alone in our pain and lament.  We need to hear that.  Does it ease the pain?  No.  Yet knowing that God is with us, gives us Someone to hold on to in the struggle.

This idea is expressed in several books of scripture.  Job was a wealthy man in many ways.  Then in one day he lost his wealth and children.  Some time later he lost his health.  We find him on an ash heap when his friends show up and stare at his deformed body for a week.  It is here that he confronts his theology and realizes that what he has believed and what he is going through is not the same.  His primary complaint is that God has not responded.  He wants God to come into the court room, sit in the witness stand, and answer his questions.  His friends are shocked that he would dare to demand such.  He is angry: at his loss, at his situation, with God because his view of suffering has been crushed.  He is angry because he cannot comfort his wife who shares his anger: “Curse God and die.”  This is lament. 

I’m convinced that Job never knew what happened behind the scenes between God and the Accuser.  God comes but never answers Job’s questions.  Rather He questions Job.  He asks Job to look at creation.  Does Job understand the way of the animals, of the weather, of the paths in the sea or the stars in the sky?  Did he name those stars?  Has he been to the storehouses of the snow?  Job, humbled by these questions, now understands that he has to look beyond himself.  Then God asks him about two very powerful animals, unidentified to us.  Can Job control them?  The answer is no but God does.  That means that God is ruling His creation and Job needs to understand that.  And he does.  He makes an amazing statement  He realizes that God is ruling and with that he finds comfort.  In 42:6, in most translations the word “repent” is used.  But that word is translated six times in Job including 42:11 as comforted.  It should read: “Therefore I despise myself and am comforted in my dust and ashes.”  He hasn’t been healed yet but finds comfort in the questions of God.  He needed to ask the questions to find the comfort.  That’s lament.

Jeremiah is another who laments and the book of Lamentations describes that lament.  Everything that Jeremiah knew was gone.  His city which he loved has been conquered by the Babylonians.  His Temple where God was worshipped has been destroyed.  His people have been carried off into captivity.  He is in mourning at the losses.  The sins of his people are like a yoke around his neck.  Just imagine a burlap sack filled with cans hung around your neck.  Now imagine others with the same thing.  Then imagine them giving you their sacks.  How many can you carry before you fall to your knees?  Jeremiah wails at the destruction he sees.  But right in the middle of these five chapters of lament he looks up.

                 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions

                 never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to

                 myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him” (3:22-24).

Read those words carefully.  We sing this in a song that we see as positive.  God loves us and is compassionate.  Everyday He is with us.  In the end we wait for Him, or in the song, hope in Him.  Suffering and grief take time but like the Shepherd’s Psalm, God is with us.  We wonder sometimes don’t we?  Do you remember the poem about the footprints in the sand.  It begins with two sets walking along the beach representing God and me.  Then there is one set.  Times are difficult and painful.  God has left me and I don’t know why.  Then there are two sets again; God has come back.  But I’m not happy and ask why He left.  But He says that He did not leave.  Rather when there was one set of footprints, He was carrying me along until I was able to walk again.  That’s lament.

The book of Revelation is a book about suffering.  We are introduced to Jesus in chapter one.  In chapters two and three God challenges the seven churches of Asia to take a look at their situation and repent if necessary or/and tough times will come.  In chapters four and five, we are told to look up and worship.  Then comes war.  After that look up!  Then more war.  Then we learn that God’s people were persecuted and willing to die for the name of Jesus.  Then more war.  Look up again!  Then war.  Then comes the Rider on the white horse, the Dragon Slayer.  After that comes peace.  These are tough times for the early church.  Persecution, suffering, death, and lament.  Yet in the midst of it all there is hope. 

We are to rejoice in suffering (Romans 5:5).  Easy to say, difficult to practice.  God will not give us more than we can bear Paul tells us and He will provide a way out.  But don’t stop there.  He then says “so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).  Jesus cried out from the cross a lament: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  This was a lament of David as well (see Psalm 22).  It was followed by death and the resurrection.  And I think that in part the book of Hebrews deals with a people lamenting because they do not understand why they are going through suffering and persecution again after a period of peace (see 10:24-25, 32-39).  All of this is a form lament.

When someone says that they are angry or mad at God, they are in good company.  This is good grief.  It takes various forms but is necessary.  When we gather with those who lament, various emotions are involved.  We can laugh and cry at the same time.  We remember the joyous times and yet are in pain right now.  We do not understand and question God.  In each of the texts that we looked at (and I encourage you to read them), each in his own way eventually looked to God.  For those of us who want to comfort the grieving, if they are mad at God, tell them it’s okay.  We stand with them.  We can pray for them and over the months encourage them to seek out the mercies of God.  To the grieving, all I can say is that in your pain, God is with you.  I don’t understand it all.  God still rules. 

Finally we return to the Shepherd.  In the deep valley of darkness, God is with us.  He is using His rod and staff to guide and protect us.  Paul tells us that our Father is the God of comfort (2 Corinthians 1).  That is all that can be suggested.  Cry, complain, be angry, and seek His comfort.  And He can give us a peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7).

                                                                                                         George B. Mearns