CYPRESSWOOD CHURCH OF CHRIST

September 26, 2004

KEEP PRAYING FOR:

Our congregation                                                      Our nation, military, and leaders

Our college students                                                  David and Leon in the Navy

Various friends, relatives and co-workers                  The Ollers are in San Antonio

COMING UP:

Oct. 30 - Hobo Party at the Cruthirds

RADICAL DISCIPLESHIP IN WORDS

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

How do we speak to others, especially in the church?  At times one would think that it was a political campaign with each side accusing the other of unfaithfulness.  Name calling and labeling become prominent.  Sadly no one thinks of others but only of their own position and influence.  It is called “church politics.”  And it is destructive.  The source of this is selfishness and pride.  It is the “I want my way” mentality.  People will justify and defend this type of action with such ideas as “defending the faith” and “standing up against false teaching and teachers.”  They do not think about what their words are doing to those who are listening.  If we are really honest with ourselves, we would see that we are acting no differently than the culture around us.  This is not radical discipleship.  Jesus clearly states that we will be judge by the careless words we speak, and this is found in the context of good and evil coming from ones heart (see Matthew 12:33-37). 

There are four things found in what Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:29.  First, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.”  We think of this as foul or cussing speech, and that certainly is in view here.  But there is more.  It would include “jumping to conclusions” or “guilt by association” by tagging people with labels.  This person is a liberal because he attends a workshop or lectureship where known liberals attend.  The problem is that the term “liberal” is misidentified by the critic.  Others use such terms when they disagree with a position or opinion of another.  I find it amusing that when someone asks for my opinion, and I give it; they don’t like it and proceed to get upset and label me.  What they want is someone to agree with them, not to hear a different idea.  Then there is the criticism that comes.  Most often it is done anywhere at anytime.  Rather than going to the person one is criticizing, they just talk to everyone else.  “Our preacher is a bore.  He is always preaching from the Old Testament.”  “Why did the elders allow that to happen.  They should have known better.”  Lunch time in restaurants must be a hoot with all the church goers criticizing Sunday morning services.  And in the context of what Paul was writing about, there is anger.  Often anger is justified with “righteous indignation.”  It’s not; it is just plain getting mad, losing control, because a challenge has been made to position, power, and/or authority.  Jesus said that murderous speech was a dangerous thing, equal to murder itself (see Matthew 5:21-22).   

What we do not realize or consider is how this affects others.  The second point then is, “but only what is helpful for building others up.”  This means we need to think of others and not ourselves (see Philippians 2:4; 1 Corinthians 10:24).  Instead of lashing out at someone for whatever reason, we need to ask ourselves, “how best can I present my case without damaging my brother?”  Does this mean that we should not rebuke or correct someone?  No.  That is part of our responsibility.  How we do it should be our concern.  How well do I know this person?  Why would he believe or say that?  How well do I understand what he is saying?  Maybe he is right and I am wrong.  Have I been listening to what others have often said and accepted it as truth, or is it a tradition or an opinion?  We don’t want to tear people down but build them up.  Rather than expecting an immediate response, let’s act “with great patience and careful instruction” (2 Timothy 4:2).  Our goal is to encourage.

The third point closely associated with this is “according to their needs.”  Needless to say, we need to know each other and that takes effort.  Rather than generalizing as politicians often do, we need to become involved with one another, knowing as much as we can about each other.  It will help in how we can approach each other in an encouraging way.  Fellowship is not greeting people at the door of the building nor is it one hour in an assembly with no other contact.  For too long we have emphasized forms rather than fellowship.  We “worship” God and then go our own ways with little if any contact.  Friendships develop within the body but rarely expand.  And out of these friendships come limited views that the “majority” think is right when in reality it is just one’s small group who agrees.  We also ignore the needs of others because we do not make time to address those needs.  I have seen people respond to an invitation, someone prays, and then they leave with hardly anyone talking to them.  That is neither fellowship nor meeting needs.  It takes time and effort and most do not want to do either.  If we are going to build others up according to their needs then we need to move away from the clock and our desire to get out of the building so we can talk about what happen at church with our friends over a meal.  Earlier in chapter four Paul said to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (verse 3). 

Finally, “that it may benefit those who listen.”  What many fail to realize is that others are listening.  People are standing around and they hear what others are saying.  If someone gets abusive with a brother or sister, especially if they are a leader of some kind, then those listening might ask themselves, what difference is there here than what I see on a political talk show or an afternoon television talk show where the host abuses guests.  Based on listening people will react.  Paul Harvey often says that they react with their feet, walking out and not coming back.  They might go somewhere else or they just might stop going altogether.  All they see are hypocrites.  And one cannot blame them because actions betray words.  We speak a good case about being “New Testament Christians” yet we act as if we were on the Jerry Springer show.  By the same token, listening can bring people closer to God because they see love expressed in measured speech carefully presented with concern for others.

If we are going to live radical lives then we need to practice how we speak to one another.  There is room for disagreements and even anger.  But with them come responsibilities.  There are ways of approaching and dealing with these without looking like society.  The first is to be humble in our dealings with one another.  The second is the willingness to sit down and discuss and listen to what the other is saying.  The third is asking if we can be at peace with each other even though we disagree?  And finally, look for ways to encourage and strength each other through disagreement and discussion. 

                                                                                                         George B. Mearns